Reasons why you’re unhappy.
I sometimes met with some certain people who usually complain about how life isn’t as fulfilling as it used to be. They’re utterly unsatisfied with the way things are.
Some certain people tend to fall into sadness as a result of things that goes in their lives. It is expected to experience this state of emotion sometimes as a result of response to adverse life events which include loss of loved ones, major life changes, pain, and disappointment. In most cases, the sad feelings resolve as you come to terms with the changes in your life but some certain people couldnt figure out what exaclty brought about their sadness and makes them fall gradually into depression. However, you might ask ‘Why am I so unhappy?’
Sometimes, though, it is possible for sadness to deepen, and this may be a sign that you are suffering from a form of depression. It feels like you are increasingly becoming gloomy and your unhapiness is difficult to explain.
However, here are some reasons why you may be unhappy and how to overcome it.
1.Comparing oneself to other people:
Happiness and contentment comes from zero comparison. Success in someone else’s life does not hurt the chances for success in yours. Some people live their lives comparing every bit of their lifestyle to other peoples lives. They judge themselves based on how they’ve seen other people do some certain things. They wont feel excited if they couldn’t match up with that level of success but little did they know that the longer they dwell on another’s weakness, the more it affects their mind with unhappiness. This habit will only create discontent in your life if you make it indefinitely continuous.
When you compare yourself with others, you’ll become bitter, vain or both – there will always be people better or worse than you.
“Every minutes you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours”
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Know that you cant clear your own fields while counting the rocks on your neighbours farm. Don’t keep scores with others. This moments, realize that its a waste of time and energy when you compare your life to other people and you’d start to be happy again.
2.Seeking perfection in life: Living life and seeking for perfection is another way to be disappointed and most people fall into the pool of sadness. You cant definitely expect everything to be perfect. Humans could mistake in everything they set out to do and from this mistakes, they learn in other to improve but not to be perfect. To be perfect seems like an unrealistic goal to place oneself on. Your life will be much more productive if you understand that obstacles are a part of life. If you want your place in the sun, you’ll have to expect some blisters.
“Perfection is not attainable,but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.”
Striving for excellence rather than perfection is stimulating and rewarding; striving for perfection in practically anything is frustrating and futile. Be easily satisfied with the very best and happiness would be yours.
3.Living in the past or future: Some certain people have become victims of this situation. They are so worried about shits in the past and anxious about what the future keeps in stock for them. We can definitely learn from our past and dream about the future but the moments we start to grief or regrets and having feeling of anxiety over uncertain future, it will start to cause an emotional sickness on us, thus we feel unhappy.
“We are products of our past but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”
You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. Forget what is gone and start building up yourself for what is ahead of you. You needed happiness on your journey to your destination.
4.Seeking for validation: This usually happens to me once in a while and most of us too. The habit of seeking for validation from people will do you more harm than good. Only you should have the keys to your happiness. You cant have everyone to sit on the same table with you. Everyone cant love you so you have to learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.
“Belief in yourself is more important than endless worries of what others think of you. Value yourself and others will value you. Validation is best that comes from within”
-Ngūgī wa Thiong’o
Solution: The solution is to begin with addressing your own thoughts process. Stop the habit of seeking approval from external influences, seek for true happiness by developing a more stable relationship.
5.Equating money with happiness: Riches doesn’t guarantee happiness and being broke doesn’t either. That crazy little thing called money will let you down at some point. Many people in live have made money and other material items (that money could buy) as their source of happiness. They made money to have a control over them. Some would refuse to be happy until they achieve a certain net worth and sometimes at the end they find out they ain’t happy still. If money means happiness, the rich wont commit suicide. Wealth and materialism is a shortcut people choose when they fail to take control of their lives. They lack a deeper meaning and somehow fail to figure it out. This doesn’t mean money doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t just be your main focus or what you obsess over. Therefore do not allow this temporary moments of your life to be filled with sadness.
“Our entire life we chase the wrong things because we think having more money and buying more stuff will make us more happy. But it doesn’t. You know why a billionaire has 100 ferraris? Because 99 weren’t enough.”
-Oliver Markus Malloy
Do not let money and material things to be the key to your happiness. If you couldn’t be a happy person before you become rich, money wont guarantee it. Seeks for meaning, love and your own version of happiness in others things in life and overcome your sadness as true happiness only comes from your mindset.
6.Lack of self love: There is no way to be happy in life if you don’t love yourself. Loving oneself is said to be the first step towards living a fulfilling life. Always be proud of yourself and who you are. Do not listen to critics that condemns your personality. The very moments you start to worry about people’s comments about you, it weighs you down and brings sadness upon you.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world”
Know that you cant receive love if you don’t love yourself. Look into the mirror everyday and smile to yourself. Be proud and be good to yourself. Your happiness lies in your hands.
Finally, I also found that happiness isn’t in the external appreciation but rather about how we feel about ourselves.
Get over the fear that others would criticize you, and start working on your dreams, or else you’ll keep pushing your happiness away from yourself.
Joy comes from within. Life is too short to be unhappy. Live a fulfilled and happy life.