“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those whose mind doesnt matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
— Dr. Seuss
Why do we really constantly worry about other people more than our selves? We frigging worry about what others say about us. We consistently overestimate how much, and how badly others think about us and the shits we do. Most of us are victims of worrying too much and I can tell that it can be freaking difficult to stop having these worries and to be more carefree with the way we live our life.
Do you have any idea that worrying about what others think of you tends to reduce your productivity in life and also affect your self confidence. You do things just to avoid critisim from people. Constantly wondering whether others like us enough can bring forth fear and anxiety, which result to neediness and insecurity. The fear eats us up and we act based on other people’s point of view. This can give birth to a situation which creates chains of problem and eventually lead to loss of self-respect and social alienation.
I dont know why people should even go ahead to pass their own judgements without having any clear understanding of what is going on in our lives but rather make us the topic of their gossips and talks. Nevertheless, We don’t have much power to control what these people think or what they say but we have the power to control the effects it has on us as an individual. Sometimes, we only get our mind occupied with these thoughts, but then you probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do! I know it might feel bad to think someone somewhere might be saying something bad about you or having an unpleasant thoughts about you, but why do we really need to feel bad? We don’t frigging need it man. Benedict Cumberbatch said if you have an over-preoccupation with perception and trying to please people’s expectations, then you can go mad.
Here are steps to help you to stop worrying about people’s thoughts and opinion and start to live your happy, productive and fulfiled life.
1.Know that not everyone will like you: First, I want you to realise that not everybody will like you or like the things you do. Stop seeking validation and soon you’ll realize you’ll stop being worried whether someone is saying something bad about you or having negative thoughts about you.
“Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.”
― Erma Bombeck
2.Realize ‘It’s none of your business: One problem is that we usually give a fuck too much. Why should other people’s opinion be a pain in our ass? Since you can’t have control over this, its none of your business. People are bound to talk; They can think whatever they wanna or say what they wanna. They only talk about you cause you’re somebody.
“I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”
— Coco Chanel
3.You own your life: You own your life and you only live once. Realize no one has a full context of your intent. No one knows what you are going through or what’s running your head.
You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. So their opinion shouldn’t matter more than your own.
“When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I’m already better than them.”
― Marilyn Monroe
4.Practise Mindfulness: Being mindful is still a very powerful way of developing attention control. Develop greater self-awareness, which can be useful in preventing self-delusion. You should be mindful of things you do and focus your attention away from what others are thinking of you. Divert your energy towards greater things and keep developing yourself.
“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing”
5.Sorround yourself with optimistic people: The kind of people you roll with determine the kind of energy you feel within. Optimistic people gives you self confidence and boost your morale. It will cut down your worries and you turn deaf ears to irrelevant thoughts.
“I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.”
― Amy Poehler
P.S: Today is my birthday, you could drop your birthday wishes with your thoughts on this post. Thanks